Blogger Q&A... Answers to life's most audacious questions...

Well I am doing a post on the random, utter stupid question the blogger asks one while creating, editing a profile. Yeah summer vacation gives ample time to kill and Empty mind is God's playground, not devil's workshop.

Q: Why does the taste of pennies remind you of losing a tooth?
Digging old graves is only apt with psychopaths, FBI agents and Blogger. Never mind, the great Armstrong in the making fell off his bike at the age of 4 and his jaw collided jaw-on with a couple of boulders: 1 tooth down, 1 half-struck and whole jaw reconfigured. To cheer me up my mother pulled out the half struck tooth out (I was expecting some glue!), some much needed pep-talk and handed me some pennies to buy ice-cream. It was recommended given my medical condition.


Q: Radio wire is often used to make bird nests. What station do they listen to?
I don’t know about all the birds, but once I listened to Channel 9 radio covering 2005 Ashes with a pigeon (McGrath) who was bitching all over the place about punter and that English Summer. After 2007 though he became saner!!! Going by the taste of ostriches I believe they don’t listen to radios, they might go for a TV! Parrots would definitely love talk show, especially The Devil’s advocate and Penguins some Jazz, Crows may be hard metal.


Q: If you drive on a parkway why don't they make the whole plane out of that?
Spare some thought for buoyancy duh! That archaic chap, Archimedes didn’t take on the world naked for nothing…Eureka god dammed!


Q: What did you dream when you ate a spider while sleeping?
Hah! That nightmare was all about our branch HOD and our FM uniting in holy matrimony. Both like a spider having tentacles clutching and bestowing all gifts (read troubles and unreal reforms) on my young shoulders with a wicked smile smacked right across.


Q: You've got to make contact with the alien leader. How will you tell when the conversation is finished?
When it/he/she sets off in its/his/her alien ship after an awkward piece of silence or when it decides to burn down the places nearby (Again Hollywood movies help little with stereotypes, not all aliens are bad are they Mummy?)



Q: The squish of mud between your toes; how would you live your life as a frog?
Here is a thought, may be some princess would kiss me and we would live happily ever after! Nah all junk! I would gather the fellow frogs and harness their skill set, may be create a super-Frog (This flick is still missing or has slipped under the radar in Hollywood) to overthrow the human race.


Q: Please describe how you could take the peel off an apple all in one go:
well help yourself, some gadget on the late night shows boasting American characters with fine Hindi accents might help you out. What is that called Tele-bizarre is it?


Q: What's the earliest you've gotten up to watch cartoons and what did you see?
Six in the morning to see women in one-piece and two-piece doing what is supposed to be stretches and morning warm up exercise.



Q: Well, maybe they don't need them, but don't you think that some fish might like a bicycle?
No, I don’t think they would like a bicycle although they might actually need something like it to commute long distance. But nobody has time to invent given the fish currency is no longer legit with the latest recession and poor bail-out response to Fish bonds by US govt.


Q: If you were a pirate, how would you avoid laughing when saying "poop deck"?
By resetting my internal clocks to a year more than five.



Q: You've been entered in a shadow puppet contest. What's your best pose?
Hey I can give a try; hey Mr. Punny here is Mr. Ducky. Oh yeah! Mr. Ducky is growing and gaining, oh it is a Wolf! A tiger! Woooooooooooah! Run punny, run for life....



Q: You're going to the moon! What did you forget to pack?
My Cell phone! Yeah I know, we are talking about Moon but what about Reliance kar lo duniya muthi mein? (The world in your hands) and now Bihar has been connected too.



Q: You have to dig a hole to China. Where do you start?
Tihar jail, well the outside world has little interference with the activities inside. And you can escape the otherwise very intruding eyes of India media, Chinese “Hao-Hu- Ching-Chu- Chas” and still have all the access to necessary tools.

Many thanks to

www.cartoonstock.com, For more Cartoon caricatures and jokes please visit the site.

Aspie Diaries (Hyperlink) : Dylan is pissed, for i didn't give him credit for "what he thinks is his work". Yeah, he is the source for some of the questions (i wanted to get all-in-one place, Curse Google for that), not in order to copy (Give one look to both the posts), but avoid the trouble of asking blogger to give one question after another. We in India are not very proud of our Broadband penetration are we? This ain't Canada pal !!

The stuff Champions are made of

If ever there was an award for the biggest match of attrition, the Wimbledon-2009 final raised the stakes right out of the roof. An humdinger, where emotions could override the physical drain, the shadows could dawn from all directions, a long forgotten warrior could reinvigorate his career and win score of fans from world over and for once it even created a doubt in my mind if the finale in 2008 was the best the world of tennis could offer.

Another truth, I should say one heck of a bitter truth that came out once more was how you can do all but one thing right and yet thanks to that one wrong step, just one slip, one error of judgment and this cruel, sometimes unrewarding world would shred you in pieces emotionally and sometimes even physically, so to speak and in no time one sinks into an abaddon, an oblivion. Federer had no answer whatsoever to big and immaculate Roddick’s serve; it was only down to one simple equation: either Roddick would be able to repeat the previous break of serves or the one and only break from Federer would seal the match and championship. One can only term the equation as cruel and lopsided but the world can never be entirely fair and for survival we are expected to not obstruct change but embrace it in our stride or in rather brute sense ‘suck it up’. The otherwise low number of unforced errors sealed the fate against Roddick’s wish in the time of reckoning and all the previous good deeds and ordeal over the past 4 hours was all but forgotten. I had a tough time expecting this fact of the matter while I was growing up, I recall how I would bicker about how I got the hard and unfair deal and even now one makes the mistake of calling it bad luck and follow the curse and bitch way of solving-nothing.

When Federer in post match presentation said how he understood the grief that might have engulfed Roddick’s disheartened heart, his prompt reply was how he had already won 5 Royal Green titles. True but the sooner he realizes the above as a fact, the sooner he would be ready to fight another day and return the favor. The world is all random and lopsided; some events, decisions weigh much more than the others and bear more than their fair share of consequences. Only one break of serve decided the fate of the pinnacle of tennis, in the same vein one supposed ‘ill-decision’ by Shiney Ahuja mired his hard earned name and fame.



Coming back to that match, it is worth noting how the champion has transformed himself into one humble, emotionally rock solid, all popular winner from once hard to believe bitchy and angry young man. It is worth appreciating how the smile communicates the frustration as a form of amusement contrary to much preferred all abusive, racket tossing, clonking and throwing behavior. Although Roddick has also come a long way from the unnecessary exuberance of the youth and it would not be entirely wrong to state it as one big reason (appended with the volleys, drop shots, more consistent execution and the ever agile physique) to why he proved to be much bigger obstacle than many pundits predicted; it is the consistency of Federer in humility in both wins and loss, that makes me awe and gasp.

Let us only hope alongside Nadal and Murray, revitalized Roddick would give the healthy competition another shot in the arm which the later years of open era has so yearned for. With Hewitt (Yeah if the late charge is any indication of the time to come), Djonkovic and whole breed of other Spanish, Argentine players to boot, we have a lot many enthralling contests on our hands. Even part dominance from now on will just forward the claim of RF being the greatest player of the open era.